Editor’s Note: Five years ago Peggy Amler began a series of posts and poems about the loss of her husband, David. She recently sent me this one that benchmarks her five year journey. I’ve followed it with her first post, “Wasn’t It Just Yesterday?” This is a link to all her publications in AfterTalk:

https://blog.aftertalk.com/page/3/?s=amler

MY FIVE YEAR JOURNEY … RECOVERED

My husband passed…

and I covered myself with layers of grief and sadness and, oh, so much pain.

Then, year by year, I uncovered those layers, removing them slowly;

layers that once were comforting became too heavy.

I discovered myself again…no longer defined by my grief;

able to live without cover, and instead with hope for the future.

recovered…

regaining my outlook

restored of faith

reclaiming myself;

…with gratitude;

for the depth of my cover reflected the depth of our love,

and I am so grateful to be, still and forever, in love.

WASN’T IT JUST YESTERDAY? [June 2017]

by Peggy Amler

in memory of David H Amler

Wasn’t it just yesterday that we had our first date?

Wasn’t it just yesterday that we had our second date and

knew that we were meant to be together forever?

Wasn’t it just yesterday that we married, and never stopped

holding hands as we held each other’s heart?

Wasn’t it just yesterday that we looked into each other’s eyes

and spoke without words?

Wasn’t it just yesterday that we were together for five years,

then ten years, then fifteen and twenty?

And now…today…I can only remember.

For you are gone.

My heart aches, but my heart is not broken.

My heart is full with your love.

And I long for the day

when we are together again,

when I can say,

“Wasn’t it just yesterday that we were apart?”