Companioning the Grieving

Companioning Tenet 11: Companioning is about curiosity…

Companioning is about curiosity; it is not about expertise. by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. “Real understanding is a creative mixture of certainty and unknowing. The trick is to know when you don’t understand.” -Thomas Moore Curiosity for the companion is about being willing to enter into and learn about the mystery of grief while recognizing you […]

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Companioning Tenet 10: Companioning is about learning from others…

…it is not about teaching them. by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. “Allow stories to be told without slipping into interpretations, analysis, and conclusions.” Thomas Moore When I attended graduate school in traditional psychology, I learned semantics such as assess, diagnose and treat. In large part, I was taught to study a body of knowledge surrounding

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Companioning Tenet Nine: Companioning is about respecting disorder and confusion…

…it is not about imposing order and logic. by Alan D. Wolfelt, PhD “Instead of struggling against the force of confusion, we could meet it and relax.” — Pema Chodron The death of someone loved brings about significant change in the life of the mourner. Change of any kind starts with disorder and confusion. Companioning

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Companioning Tenet Eight: Being Still

Companioning the bereaved is about being still; it is not about frantic movement forward. “Things come suitable to their time.” Enid Bagnold Many of the messages that people in grief are given are in opposition to stillness… “carry on;” “keep your chin up;” “keep busy;”  “I have someone for you to meet.” Yet, the paradox

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Companioning Tenet Seven: the gifts of sacred silence

Companioning the bereaved means discovering the gifts of sacred silence; it does not mean filling up every moment with words. “Do not speak unless you can improve upon silence.” Buddhist teaching In discovering the gifts of sacred silence, you cultivate what becomes an avenue for the mourner to open his heart up to wisdom surrounding

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