Lost and Found: AfterTalk Inspirational 7.6.17

LOST AND FOUND

Peggy Amler, 2017

I have lost my way.

Awakening alone.

Going through the motions of beginning the day.

Going through the e-motions of beginning the day.

My Love is not next to me.

No one to talk with.

Memories and tears abound.

Tears cease that I might eat breakfast.

Breakfast is done.

Lists of things needing tending get written,

and I move forward with the day.

I’m not used to this way.

I feel lost.

I feel my aloneness.

How do people get through this?

The months go by.

Next a year, and more.

And then…this life begins to feel somewhat familiar…

awakening alone, going to bed alone, the quiet of the house.

…And then… I find what I what I am seeking…

ME.

LIFE.

I must acknowledge that I have life within me.

For whatever reason I do.

I cannot deny it.

And I begin to feel it without contempt.

It becomes a friend.

And it is OK to embrace a friend.

I celebrate in finding myself…quietly I do so,

with reserved joy, and with a degree of relief.

I am here.

I go on with the day.

Today, the sun shines from the blue sky above;

and now I can smile with it.

I was unable before.

I can lift my eyes from always looking downward, and ponder

what the day will bring.

I was unable before to accept its gifts.

I can look out of the front door and want to open it, and go outside;

before, I wanted only to keep it shut.

I can play.

I can engage.

I can make jokes, and I can laugh…sometimes surprisingly without guilt.

And I can embrace myself while embracing the memory of my Love.

I hold on to him tightly…very tightly.

And then, before I know it, it’s tomorrow.

Another day.

I have things I want to do.

I think I have found my way.

And I am grateful.

This next day might not go as well as the one before, but

I have hope.

Things will never be what they were before, but

I will move forward.

Me, with myself.

Found.