Norah Casey is not well known in the USA, but is a legend in Ireland. She’s not only a giant in publishing, but spent two seasons on Dragon’s Den, the Irish and UK version of Shark Tank. Her husband passed away in 2011. She was inspired by the famous grief quote “the cure for grief is motion” (Elbert Hubbard) to find her own cure for grief, which led to this TEDx talk.
Dear Larry,
Norah Casey made me long for Ireland once more and the Irish experience. The first time I went was with my daughter, Katie, who was recovering from a double stem cell transplant for her brain tumors. Because I get lost walking around the block, I suggested we see Ireland by motor coach. Katie, always the adventurer said, “Oh no, Mom, we’re doing a drive around.” So that is what we did.
Norah was accurate when speaking of the magic of the Irish. When we pulled into Killarney there were banners strewn all over the town with “Welcome Kate!” In Kinsale I met a woman with my maiden name, Mary Hurley. She was covered in flour from baking fresh bread for her pub where Katie and I went to enjoy a pint. Okay, her mother had more than one and danced too much and laughed out loud too much. To Norah’s point, we were moving and we were living a life of hope. Hope that Katie would get well, living in the moment.
Katie didn’t get well and I had to give her back to God. I also had to make a choice: go on living or not. So for the last ten years I’ve been grabbing that dopamine Norah spoke about. Norah said go to those who know the story. I know the story and other bereaved mothers know the story. Together we are writing a new story: finding meaning again. It’s healing us a mother-at-a-time. At our last meeting we had 30 bereaved mothers sitting in a circle of love – it was magnificent. They were magnificent.
Norah has a generous and joyful spirit and I’m so happy to meet her today and raise that dopamine in myself. Maybe when I return to Ireland for the third time I will have a chance to meet her. I imagine that I will.
Kindly,
Mary Jane Hurley Brant
My daughter just passed away from a relapse of AML ( leukemia). It was her 4th relapse after diagnosis 23 years ago. We are in deep despair. How can we connect with this group you are speaking of? Newly bereaved mothers? Sadly, I am now in that group. I am getting some help with books and counseling but could use more. It is a raw intense and darkest grief just now.
Thank you for any help,
Melinda Hall
Dear Melinda,
If you would like to join our group on Face Book we would love to have you. You would just have to ask to join “Mothers Finding Meaning Again.”
Your grief is so very new and as you wrote, “raw.” It is a terrible experience, indescribable and lonely. There is a longing that mirrors no other loss.
I don’t know where you live but other meetings are opening up in the Philadelphia, PA area of Mothers Finding Meaning Again thanks to a beautiful article about us. http://articles.philly.com/2016-05-16/news/73104993_1_todd-5-month-old-son-daughter
I would also suggest you look into a local Compassionate Friends group. Start somewhere, Melinda. Your loss is much too painful to go it alone.
I’ll keep you and your family in my prayers for the loss of your precious child.
Kindly,
Mary Jane Hurley Brant
Thank you Mary Jane,
I am getting lots of support now from our hospice counselor and a group for bereaved parents. I also found information on IADC which is an off-shoot of EMDR. It is very interesting and fits with our path of exploring the spiritual dimension of such a loss. I have done EMDR to help with some trauma around memories and images related to Bonnie’s illness. We were at this for years…with thankfully some breaks here and there. As time goes on I hope to recall those breaks more than the bad/hard and devastatingly sad times. Thank you for reaching out to me and inviting me to join the group. I will check it out. I am using all the supports at my disposal and praying to be directed to those things that will help.
Kind Regards,
Melinda