[Editor] The expression ,”Grief is the price for love” is erroneously attributed to Queen Elizabeth; but the quote comes from a longer passage by Dr Colin Murray Parkes, a British psychiatrist and a pioneer in this field. The Queen popularized it, but Dr Parkes’ full quote is eloquent and wise and deserves to be acknowledged.The full quote can be found in his book, Bereavement: Studies of Grief in Adult Life.
“The pain of grief is just as much part of life as the joy of love:it is perhaps the price we pay for love, the cost of commitment. To ignore this fact, or to pretend that it is not so, is to put on emotional blinkers which leave us unprepared for the losses that will inevitably occur in our own lives and unprepared to help others cope with losses in theirs.”
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According to this, Dr Parkes originated the quote in his book that was published in 2009. But the Queen’s quote was made 10 days after the horrific events of September 11th, 2001. So, who is quoting whom?
The THIRD edition was published in January 2001. Here is the evidence: https://www.amazon.ca/Bereavement-Studies-Grief-Adult-Life/dp/1583911278 EDITOR
Originally published in 1972
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Emotional blinkers or blinders?
Blinkers are what they are called in British English.
Thank you Martín for giving the correct original publishing date.
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It’s not identical, but the sentence, “Suffering is the price of love,” was written by Caryll Houselander in her work, The Way of the Cross, more than 20 years before Dr. Parkes published in 1972. I don’t know the year of her book, but Houselander died in 1954, and was writing, not from a psychological, but from a spiritual perspective.